Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
