People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
