people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
