last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize