Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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