Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
