there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
