like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
