I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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