the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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