she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
