so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
