Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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