im holly from the hills drunk
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
