Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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