So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
