she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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