Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
