Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
