A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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