I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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