Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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