Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
