WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
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We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
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We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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