why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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