Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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