id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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