Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
