Its about making memories worth repressing
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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