I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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