U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
