found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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