before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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