What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
