when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
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We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
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he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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