I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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