So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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