wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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