Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
