We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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