he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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