M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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