so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
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We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
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I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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