she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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