i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
