Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
