i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
