It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
