There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
