My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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