Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
