does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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