Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
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smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
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HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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