woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
