There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
