im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
