I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
