proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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