dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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