it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
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It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
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But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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