i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
