then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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