Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
